Okay, after the last few days of quite a lot of happenings and non-happenings (tangible non-happenings but a lot of metaphysical happenings), i finally sit down to blog my mind out. I think it's going to be a big post!
I finally returned home after some anxious awaiting and a gradually stocked up excitement but with mixed feelings and realization of the diversified changes. I spent the entire Sunday staying at home, watched the entire india-new zealand match with dad, spent time with mom, chatted with my sisters on screen trying to feel their virtual presence; with the coolers on, cold watermelon, Sunday-special home food (pasta and chicken being indispensible!), cricket match, a deep siesta and family, I felt as if I was back to my middle-school summer vacations (one of the best days ever!). Then after dinner, as I went out to the porch and front open campus, I could sense a lot in the slightly pleasant, cool and soft breeze that was soothingly rushing into my hair. It was the March breeze, the breeze with the extremes of feelings and memories blowing in the month which used to be so. There was this tension of exams in it, then there was this relaxed feeling of getting over with exams and a short free time to enjoy exhaustively and extremely in it. I could visualize my friends with their bikes on my gate or myself with a book and a cricket ball. That feeling of emptiness in the school premises after the exams and the planning of parties in our parking area. I knew all this was gone now, but I was too happy missing them rather virtually reliving them despite realizing the futility of it. I could've called a few friends who are here back home and hung out with them, but I just wanted to be in memories.
But now I know the reality, I cannot go back in time and relive those days but can make the present days worth reliving later, so I decided to think of the college ahead. However, the nostalgia still lingers inevitably on each visit back home. So I realize that we have to move on with the changes, try welcome them so that we can later reflect upon them and feel the same vibes and joyous excitement as we do now. One thing which is like an axiom of life is that we realize anything once it is gone, we know we like anything once we start missing it and for that, change is inevitable and good to be so! As I missed my middle-school days, so did I gradually miss the high-school days, reflecting upon the change that had occurred and had been successfully utilized/enjoyed. Talking about change, it is equally true that if you compare any situation before and after any change and feel like laughing at the prior situation, it means you're doing good and that's how I feel many a times. And talking of changes and improvements, you may never know what may happen next, how things may take shape in future and that's where the limitation to the 'larger picture' lies and the policy of carpe diem comes to the fore.
Today I was talking with a genuine stud friend of mine, all about the desired balances and preferences of life and inter alia we realized how erratic future usually is, erratic w.r.t. the larger picture as seen by us. Our conversation started with a rather sad topic of 'death' and gradually we talked how we could never have imagined a year back whatever situation exists now and neither can we visualize the larger picture as we never know whatever may happen next. However, humans as we are, we can never give up thinking about future and basing and planning our actions and placing our preferences consciously on the 'larger picture' as we see it. However, first of all, the larger picture turns out to be different from what everyone might perceive individually and secondly, placing our preferences is though subjective but is based on a common ultimate aim. That ultimate aim is to get satisfied which never happens absolutely and obviously can never happen absolutely. However, on a metaphysical level, satisfaction is achieved by an inherent social desire of keeping certain relations with certain people.
The logic behind it goes like this - another axiom of life is that ultimately self interest prevails over any other interest, but what is the purpose of self interest? Survival probably, but again, why does one want to survive? Why does one want to succeed and improve? The answer lies in another axiom of life which is that everything in life is relative and is quid pro quo and therefore every activity of every person ultimately has something to do with any other person. Hence, we reach the ultimate conclusion of basing everything towards establishing/maintaining certain relations with certain people. Now what this conclusion explains is the presence of emotions as the inherent and distinctive characteristic in us and their role and significance (latent if not explicit) in shaping our decisions and preferences. When the decisions are based explicitly on what one wants/feels they are generally considered stupid on account of being devoid of reason and reason is generally observed in exclusivity with emotions and the immediate desires and in accordance with the 'larger picture' more sophistically put as 'practicality'. The value system generally observed is materialistic and if value-based economics is extended to include the intangible metaphysical elements i.e. emotions, they would supercede if not equate the material values that people consider while making choices.
The solution, according to me lies in striking a balance between the 'larger picture'(as observed individually) or practicality (as perceived subjectively) and the policy of carpe diem i.e. to seize the day and enjoy and cherish whatever we can in the present without ruining it by worrying about the future as we never know what it may be like. This way we can enjoy the surprises of life without predicting/expecting anything about and from the future and at the same time face whatever future has to offer. Neither of the two approaches are perfect individually but both are optimum when kept in balance with each other. So what we are left with to keep in mind is that changes are a part of life and we are supposed to move on with them, neither getting too much into the past nor ignoring it altogether and neither ruining the present worrying about the future/'larger picture'/practicality nor leaving it totally unconsidered. Fear is how we all fall and fear about the future consequences of present developments is what moves the srongest of people, so lets just live the moment and face the future optimistically and happily.
