The looney is in our head

Cleanliness, personal hygiene, work, women and human relations.. few good things in life which i am very particular about.. and that's my biggest problem. It's irritating to be so particular and demanding because it ultimately fucks up your mood. I generally tend to stay away from most of these because of the same reason.. in an attempt to avoid such high expectations from even building up.. and whenever i get a new hope that such expectations aren't above my own control or that i should not let such problems arising out of being particular and being least bit of demanding (to differentiate myself from a machine) to prevent me from enjoying an accomplishment as particular and as reciprocative as i want it to be, I always end on a hopeless note.

And the cycle continues.. another chance, another hope, another attempt to be successfully particular, another effort to ignore the potential turn-offs, and ultimately another moment of despair and another vow to keep distance from the things listed right in the beginning followed by another hope and another chance..